How to break the idea of estim to my GF...

[yojimbo]

So here is my situation. I am a thorough enjoyer of PES products, particularly the ones with urethra inserts, but estimming is pretty much the one secret I've kept from my wonderful girlfriend of almost 3 years. We have a very active and healthy sex life and we are both open people. Our sex life is mildly kinking (light bondage, light BDSM) She even works at a sex shop, albeit a bit more mild one. I am trying to figure out a way to tell her about this little hobby so I can get rid of the secret and maybe we can have more fun. My worry is that in the few times I've heard her mention estimming, it was with a degree of disgust (every now and then someone calls asking about it or it is mentioned in an article like "Control Tower" in Seattle's "The Stranger"). Not total revulsion or anything, but it did not sound appealing to her. I've talked to her about enjoying urethral play, but it's been nothing more advanced then a tongue or rubbing. Some day she will have to find out, it's simply I don't know how to handle telling her, let alone showing her my daunting-looking toys. Any advice on how to ease in the news would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

[Anna]

First, I would probably not open a conversation to introduce Estim using urethral play as the example. If she is into watching movies, I might recommend getting 'Electro Sex' and show that to her. It is an older movie but it was done as a straight not BDSM video. And the majority of the product usage is on women. And they were genuinely using the products in the video. Dante used that movie shoot as an opportunity to get some good female feedback.

You might even act all innocent and perhaps show her the website. I'd say if you break it to her showing her the less intimidating aspects of stimming and perhaps show her yourself using them and enjoying them she might be a little more open to trying it herself.

If you have found you can be open with the majority of your relationship, bringing this up shouldn't destroy it. But you may have to accept that she may not find it as erotic as you. All I can say is bring it up gently and then go from there.

Sometimes things that we may know nothing about seem odd at first but eventually once the seed is planted, we start to find ourselves more and more interested in them. I know I was that way about our product when I first started here. I think it took me a few months to even be willing to give them a try. But once I did, I have to say it was nothing like I expected.

I hope this helps.

Later!